


For Propriety's Sake

by stephanieh



Category: The Hobbit - All Media Types
Genre: Alternate Universe - Everyone Lives/Nobody Dies, Crack, Eventual Happy Ending, Fluff and Angst, M/M, Post BotFA, the company is a bunch of little shits, thorin and bilbo make their own lives as difficult as possible
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-07-18
Updated: 2014-07-19
Packaged: 2018-02-09 11:27:55
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 7,258
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1981200
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/stephanieh/pseuds/stephanieh
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Thorin thinks that Balin thinks he shouldn't court Bilbo, everyone is confused, Bilbo and Thorin are incapable of acting like mature adults, and the company is going to put a stop to that- even if it means locking them in a room together until they make up.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

Bilbo was just taking the kettle off the fire when he heard a knock at the door.  He quickly set his kettle aside and set to trotting across the room, shouting that he was on his way. 

For weeks now Bilbo had been living in the guest quarters of the royal wing of Erebor, and he still didn't feel he would ever be used to the size of it.  The ceiling stretched up at least fifteen hobbits high, and the room- shaped like an elongated hexagon- took Bilbo _forever_ to walk across it was so wide.  He had been told when he was placed the rooms that visiting dignitaries from neighboring kingdoms used to be housed in these quarters when they came for extended visits. Bilbo hoped the rooms had been decorated more in those days, otherwise the placement might've been seen as some sort of punishment.  Maybe it had been reserved for elves. 

All the same, Bilbo was happy to be there.  He was in Erebor, with his closest friends safe in their home at last.  It was undeniably a grand kingdom, and even if Bilbo preferred homey to impressive he could still appreciate that fact. The fact he was courting the King didn't hurt either. He hummed happily as he trotted to the door.

Bilbo swung open the door to reveal the King himself, looking decidedly nervous.  Bilbo didn't seem to notice. Instead he exclaimed, "Thorin! Oh, you should've told me you were coming, I would've made tea for two." He bustled back to his little kitchen table near a small fireplace, nattering away contentedly as he went.

"Too late now, unless you don't mind sharing.  I suppose you dwarves always have had a bad habit of dropping in unannounced, I should expect it by now.  I do, however, have some extra sweet rolls here, if you would like.  I was planning on giving them to Kili, he seems so downtrodden having to stay in bed all the time recently what with his injuries still healing.  But it would be no trouble at all to bake some more.  Here you are."  Bilbo set the plate on the other side of the table and realized Thorin was not sitting in his usual place across from him.

He was still in the doorway where Bilbo had left him, wearing an altogether strange look on his face that seemed suspiciously like pain, as he stared at Bilbo from across the room. 

"Thorin?" Bilbo prompted, sour dread settling in his stomach as he recognized the look.  "Is something wrong?"

Thorin opened his mouth to speak but seemed to think better of it, clenching his jaw closed. He finally stepped into the room with an air of finality, shutting the door behind him.  He came to stand at the head of Bilbo's table and closed his eyes, bowing his head gravely.

Just as Bilbo started to think Kili's injuries had taken a turn for the worse, Thorin spoke.

"Mister Baggins, I-" he paused to take a breath.  "I wish to discontinue our courtship."

Bilbo dropped the roll he had been buttering onto the floor.  He gaped at Thorin, heedless of the mess.

"Sorry?" Bilbo tried to ask, but word came out as nothing more than an unintelligible squeak.

"Sorry," he began again, more forcefully this time. How dare Thorin toy with him about such things? "Could you repeat that?"

"Do not ask me to say it again,"  Thorin ground out, glaring at the table as if it had caused him personal offense. As if he was not the one suggesting _the end of their courtship_.

Bilbo continued to gape at him, anger coloring his cheeks.  "Have I displeased you in some way I'm not aware of?" 

"No! No, Mister Baggins," Thorin reeled in his reaction as he spoke, using his King voice, the one he kept for subjects who were unreasonable.  Bilbo hated the King voice.  "You have pleased me, greatly." He stopped to clear his throat awkwardly. "I simply cannot continue this.  For personal reasons."

" _Personal reasons_?"  Bilbo hissed, wedging his way in front of the King to look him in the eye so he might see what on earth was happening inside his dear, thick dwarf's head.  "I would think there is nothing much more _personal_ than a courtship, unless you're planning to court someone else.  In which case I beg you to tell me so I can punch them in the nose."

To his credit, Bilbo thought, Thorin seemed appropriately horrified at the idea.

" _Someone else?_ "Thorin growled, his hands clenching and unclenching, looking like he was thinking of ringing someone's neck, but didn't know who to target. "You think me so dishonorable as to-"

Bilbo cut him off before he could work himself into a real rage. "Well, what else am I supposed to think when you won't talk to me?  I cannot think of what possibly would prompt you to end our courtship.  I thought you were happy, Thorin, because I was. Very happy, indeed."  

Thorin softened at this, and looked down at Bilbo with such undisguised affection it made Bilbo's heart thump in his chest.  He dared to believe he had gotten through to Thorin for a moment, but his face closed off once more and he made to leave the room.  "I have spoken my word," he stated firmly.

 Bilbo ran to the door, slipping agilely in front of Thorin, blocking his path.  "Oh no, Thorin Oakenshield, you are going to tell me what's wrong.  You owe me that much. After all we've done together." 

Thorin's composure cracked again, and his weariness and desperation leaked onto his face, this time to stay.  Bilbo took a step towards him, gesturing to the arm chairs he kept in front of the hearth of the secondary fireplace. "Let's sit and talk about this like rational adults, shall we?"

Thorin shot him a look at the implication he was being anything but a rational adult, but had the grace not to argue, and instead settled into a chair.  Bilbo waited patiently for Thorin to begin.

"My people have always been my first priority.  Ever since the dragon came, their needs have been above any of my own.  Even in personal matters."

"That's all well and good, Thorin, you know I admire that in you.  But what does that have to do with our courtship?"

Thorin looked up at him, "Everything."  His eyes dropped to the fire and he rubbed his beard.  "Dwarves are a very secret race, Bilbo.  Even having you under the mountain has caused disturbance in the court, let alone the fact you're my intended.  There was talk of interrogating you like a _criminal_ \- to see how much you knew about our culture, and to make sure you hadn't picked up any of our language."

Bilbo fidgeted uncomfortably.  He hadn't _meant_ to notice, but with all of the dwarves dipping in and out of their native tongue, he might have picked some of it up on accident.  He cursed his skill with languages and tried to keep the guilt off his face as he listened to Thorin.  He would have to remember to burn that parchment where he had written some of the words down later.

"I put a stop to that," he said with an air of viciousness, at which Bilbo couldn't help but smile. "but with our courtship... it will only resurface alongside any dissent among my council as a weakness to exploit.  Then there's the fact that you're a male." 

Bilbo sputtered, loudly.  "Forgive me, your Highness, I never noticed you having any problem with me being a male when we were fornicating in the woods." 

"It has nothing to do with my preference," Thorin said, ears reddening in embarrassment at himself.  "I am the last dwarf of the royal line of Durin.  Do you know the legend of Durin?"

"I thought I wasn't supposed to know anything about dwarven culture."

Thorin frowned at him, but Bilbo just sipped his tea. 

"Durin the Deathless was a dwarf lord of Khazad-dûm.  He lived for many years and the kingdom prospered under his rule.  When he did die, he was born again of his line with the same likeness. Seven times this has happened, and each has been a gift to dwarf-kind. My family is the last of his true line, if I don't have children, then he may never be reborn into this world."

Bilbo's thoughts of a sassy reply died in his mouth as he realized how serious Thorin was about ending their courtship. He started to see the seriousness in his argument, but it was the lack of sense that bothered him. "Seven lives in this world seems like plenty to me. And what about Fili and Kili? Dis is just as related to Durin as you."

Thorin gazed at him seriously and continued.  "It's more the principle of the thing. The males of my line are the ones who rule, so they are the ones who should breed. _And_ you are one of the company. Already there has been arguments concerning preferential treatment-"

"Preferential? We helped you reclaim Erebor when no others would, and _now_ they complain about preferential treatment! Ha," Bilbo exclaimed. "They would have no right to complain if you named all thirteen of us co-regents." 

"Agreed, but complain they do."  Thorin sighed and leaned back in his chair, looking exhausted, rubbing his face. "I do not like it any more than you do, Bilbo, but I must do what is right by my people, and what is proper for a King."

The reality that Thorin seriously intended to leave him finally sunk in and Bilbo felt tears sting in his eyes. He stared across the fire at Thorin, slumped in his armchair and rubbing his eyes, whom he had come to value in his life so much in such a short time together.

"Proper for a king?"  Bilbo whispered.  "All your life you've done nothing but make choices proper for a king.  Damn your propriety! I spent the first 50 years of my life doing what was proper, and now, sitting here in a dwarven kingdom a years length of travel from my home in the presence of a King whom is my dearest friend, I can tell you with absolute certainty that losing all sense of propriety was the best thing I've ever done."

Thorin sighed and shook his head, as if Bilbo was a child who didn't understand. Bilbo couldn't stand the sight of it.

 "I cannot act against my people's needs," Thorin said.

Bilbo sat back, cradling his empty tea cup in both his hands.  

"So that's it then."  

Thorin looked at him, desperate once more.  He stood as if he was going to go to Bilbo and comfort him but Bilbo couldn't take it.

"Get out," Bilbo whispered.

"Bilbo, I-"

" _Get out_!" He shouted, standing and pointing at the door, his teacup falling from his lap and on to the rug.  _I will have to scrub the floors later at this rate_ , he thought to himself, feeling numb.

Thorin stared at him for a moment before turning, sweeping towards the door and slamming it in his wake.

Bilbo sat back down in his chair, not realizing he was crying until he saw tears fall on his hands. He didn't bother to stop himself.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Unbetaed. Feel free to point out any grammatical errors or parts that are unclear.


	2. Chapter 2

Thorin Oakenshield stalked through the halls of his reclaimed homeland. _Curse propriety_ , the growled to himself, _curse me, curse feelings of any kind, curse Balin!_   Balin, who started all of this.  

Earlier that week, Balin had come to Thorin in the King's study.Thorin, having just spent lunch with Bilbo, was still riding the high that came from Bilbo's company.  

"Balin!Come in, sit down," he called, getting up from his desk as Balin entered the room. "You look tired, my friend."

"Aye, I am that.These _caragu_ headed council members will be the death of me."

Thorin sighed in commiseration."What are they bothering you with?I will put a stop to it."

"If only it were that simple," Balin raised his eyebrows."They wished to view Bilbo's contract from the quest."

"His contract," Thorin frowned, sitting back down behind his desk."Why in all of Middle-Earth would they desire to see his contract?"

"They wouldn't say," he sighed and shook his head."Bilbo's is becoming quite the hassle to keep around.Even more so with your courtship, my King."

Thorin balked at that.Surely even the council would come to accept the Hobbit in time?Of course, Thorin himself had to defend his presence in the mountain at every meeting _at least_ once.And now they were hassling his advisors about him in their free time?What's next, will they approch the Hobbit himself?

"-burned it of course, as I did all the other contracts at the conclusion of the quest.They went on-"

Thorin caught snippets of Balin's voice, but his mind was elsewhere.What if Bilbo was implicated in their suspicions? Dwarves were a private race after all, and not known for their decency towards others.What if Bilbo was mistaken for an elf in the halls and harassed?If his council kicked up enough of a fuss, would the people follow?Of one thing Thorin was sure, he would rather lose his Hobbit to distance than any alternative.

"-listening to me, laddie?"

Thorin, coming out of his reverie, looked up at Balin, who was smiling at him knowingly.

"I apologize, Balin, I was simply-"

"No need to apologize, my King.If I can understand anything, I can understand why you wouldn't want to listen to an old dwarf's long speeches after a morning in open court," his eyes twinkled as he stood to leave. "Get some rest, Thorin, your kingdom needs you whole and hale." 

"I will, my friend.And you," Thorin murmured politely, still lost in thought.  

He had to do something about this before it got out of hand.

And done something he had.Thorin arrived at his rooms and stormed inside, roaring an order for the the guards to leave him. He flung himself down in the nearest chair and ran his hands over his face.Behind his eyelids he saw Bilbo's face, stunned and hurt, tears gathering in his slate colored eyes.

Thorin groaned loudly, slumping in his chair.  

 _I have done what's right_ , he told himself fervently.Bilbo may never thank him, but Thorin would be able to sleep at night. Isn't that what Bilbo had done when he had stolen the Arkenstone from him?And if Bilbo could act so selflessly for the sake of Thorin and his people, then Thorin was strong enough to do the same.Right?

*** 

The next morning Bilbo delivered the sad news of his breakup to his second closest friend.Unfortunately, this friend- though loyal and sweet- is not the best for comfort. Or anything, really- besides hard truths.

"Oh, Bofur, what am I going to do!" Bilbo bemoaned.

"Well it sounds to me as if it's all settled, if you don't mind me saying.Thorin's dumped like a sack of rotten potatoes and you didn't stop him," Bofur mused, crossing his legs under himself on the bed and shrugging.

Bilbo couldn't remember why he had asked Bofur over. Talking to Oin would've been more therapeutic, and Oin wouldn't have even heard him.

"He said courting me wouldn't be proper for a King."

"He's probably right."

"And he was so _callous_ about it, like it was so simple for him! He just came in here and treated our relationship like a… a business transaction!" 

"Oh yeah?And he's usually as cuddly as a teddy bear, our King."

"He's right after all, I suppose. I'm not worthy of him."

"Oh, he said that, did he?"

"How could I have ever deceived myself otherwise?"

"I think you should ask to borrow Oin's ear trumpet, lad."

Bilbo pulled himself up off his stomach and hugged his pillow to his chest with his back against the headboard. "What am I going to do?"

"Dance the jig and submit your pony for knighthood."

"But look at me!" Bilbo set his pillow aside and stood. "I am a Baggins, of… of these guest quarters, for now!And I will not spend my days pouting like a scorned teenager!I am going to go talk to that dwarf!"

"Best of luck with that.You certainly are good at talking.Listening on the other hand…"

"Thank you Bofur, you're a good friend," Bilbo called behind him as he trotted towards the exit. 

Bofur hummed in response and helped himself to Bilbo's sweet rolls as he watched Bilbo go, shaking his head. 

Bilbo was knocking on Thorin's door before he realized he hadn't properly thought this through. Unfortunately, Thorin answered almost immediately, before Bilbo could run away.

"Mister Baggins," he greeted curtly, a look of morbid curiosity on his face. "What are you doing here?"

"Your Majesty. May I come in?"

"I suppose you have the right," Thorin said carefully, looking slightly strained.

Bilbo tutted at his manners and slipped inside, sitting gingerly in his customary armchair."I have come to talk."

"What is there to speak of? I was sure I made my decision clear enough."

Bilbo swallowed his irritation at the implication that he didn't have any say in choices about their relationship.That was a fight for another day."You may not be aware, Thorin, but to Hobbits, disappearing for years on quests with a band of strange dwarves is the very epitome of unproper.I expect I would be quite the spectacle in the Shire now. I'm sure they would all call me mad, in fact. But I wouldn't change what I've done for the world."

Thorin gave a put upon sigh. "You are not a ruler Bilbo, your do not require the loyalty of your fellow Hobbits to keep your little land from ruin."Thorin said."I believe we have already spoke of this, so unless you doubt my sincerity-"

 "Well either you are being insincere now, or you have been insincere to me for the past year," Bilbo interrupted petulantly, knowing it was a mistake to say as he spoke the words. 

Thorin glowered at him. "You doubt my honor."

"You have made me doubt it!" 

Bilbo shouldn't have been shocked when Thorin marched back to the door and wrenched it open. "Out.I will not speak of this with you again. My decision is final."

Bilbo stood, straightening his rumpled jacket and marching out the door with his nose in the air with as much dignity as he could muster. He took delight in knowing it irked Thorin when he acted superior.  He had come here to make amends, but if Thorin was unwilling to talk then it was his own fault.

After Thorin slammed the door in his wake, Bilbo slunk back to his room.

He threw himself face down on the bed. Bofur came to sit beside him, patting his back idly and chewing on a sweet roll.

***

"My fellow company members, I've gathered you here today to discuss the sad situation that has befallen our idiotic King and his equally thick Hobbit."

The company leaned in, wide eyed.

"What happened, Bofur?"

"I thought we-"

"-Thorin done now?"

"Never should've-"

"-got to help!"

"Not so sure-"

"SHUSH!"Bofur shouted.The company shushed."Thorin ended their courtship and Bilbo's angry at him for it."

The company ' _oh_ '-ed and settled back, pondering the news. 

"But what could've prompted that?" Gloin wondered.

"They seemed so happy together," Ori whined.

"It seems Thorin doesn't think the dwarves of Erebor want him courting a Hobbit," Bofur explained."What could've given him that idea I haven't an inkling. But now Bilbo is quite set on believing that Thorin never loved him at all and the whole thing has been a lie. Can't blame him really- it does look very suspicious, our King's actions."

Dwalin glared at Bofur, who raised his hands in surrender, "I know he would never act so dishonorable, but that _is_ what it looks like."

"If the Hobbit believes he could act so, then he does not deserve to have him," Dwlain growled. 

Balin smacked Dwalin's arm in reprimand."You, brother, are as bad as the King. Bilbo's simply hurt, I'm sure he doesn't truly think so poorly of Thorin."

"As to what prompted Thorin's thoughts, I could venture a guess," Balin sighed."The council has been questioning Bilbo's presence in the mountain ever since they began their sessions, and just the other day when I mentioned it to Thorin he went all broody.You know the way-" the company nodded in understanding, "-and hardly heard another word I said."

Dwalin rolled his eyes indulgently."Our sap of a King probably worked himself into a panic and decided that taking the axe to their courtship was the best solution." 

Fili stood suddenly, with a look of determination on his face. "We've got to fix this."

"Aye!"The Company shouted in unison.

"What did you have in mind, lad?"

"I've got a plan." He smiled mischievously, "but they won't like it."

 


	3. Chapter 3

Bilbo supposed he might be acting a little immature, but he told himself that Thorin deserved it. 

After all he had let Bilbo come to truly care about him when he'd apparently intended to leave him as soon as they'd reclaimed the mountain. He had to have. No one lacked the power to think ahead so hugely as it would take to make an oversight of that scale. Not even Thorin, the most stubborn, foolish, charming dwarf he's ever had the displeasure of meeting.

But when Bilbo had announced his intention to leave the mountain to the company, there had been an uproar.  He had expected that, after all not every dwarf was as deceptive as _Thorin_ , and the company had come to like him given time.  What he had not expected was the nature of their requests.

"Please Mister Bilbo, just stay three more days."

"To… give us time to send you off properly!  We'll throw you a feast!"

"Just a few days, Mister Bilbo, we're begging you!"

And so, Bilbo had agreed to stay three more days. Though if his friends were planning to give him a proper send-off, they were doing a pretty poor job of it, Bilbo thought bitterly to himself as he sat alone in his room the following evening.  _Dwarves_ , Bilbo thought tetchily, _I won't miss their confounding ways in the slightest_.

Meanwhile down the hall, Balin was entering Thorin's quarters in a huff. 

"What did you do?"

Thorin looked up at him, "What?"

"I came in here telling you that your council is acting ludicrously, so you end your courtship with Bilbo?  The poor lad's beside himself!  He came to the company the other night telling us he plans on leaving to go back to the Shire!"

Thorin stilled. "What," he repeated in a deadly tone.

"Well if you don't like it, you best go tell him.  He's set to leave two days from now."

Thorin slumped back in his chair.  Bilbo leaving the mountain, never to see Thorin again.  How could he?  Betrayal washed over him and he quickly recovered from his shock, sour resignation sweeping in to take its place.

 "I cannot. If he thinks me so dishonorable as to lie to him about my feelings, he cannot forgive me. Nor is there any reason for him to stay here. I must do what is proper."

Balin didn't bother to contain his frustration.  "He's hurt, you thick son of Durin! He didn't mean any of what he might've told you afterwards! The lad's as crazy for you as you are for him, you must know that he would never truly suspect you of such dishonor. Besides, the people will accept whatever you do. You've won their loyalty as sure as you've won mine and every other member of the company's- including Bilbo's.  He would not reject you if you gave him the chance to make a choice!"

"He said himself he believed I lied, I made no mention of my honor. He raised the point himself,"  Thorin ground out. "And as for loyalty, it is something I have to earn daily. I learned that many years ago, on the journey West. And I have earned it by acting with propriety. So that is how I will continue to act, never mind my personal desires."

Balin threw his hands into the air, and said gravely, "Fix this, laddie, or you and Bilbo both will regret it till the end of your days."

And with that Balin marched out of Thorin's rooms before he did something improper himself, like whacking the King of Erebor over the head with a rolled up parchment like he used to when Thorin refused to do his lessons.

*** 

 _Curse these dwarves and their convoluted halls and their secret doors_ , Bilbo thought to himself as he tapped his fingertip against the great stone door that had just shut unexpectedly behind him, trying to discern where the door had gone off to using echolocation.

This was his last night in Erebor and the Company had sent him an invitation a feast in his honor.  Bilbo had had half a mind not to come, after they had demanded he stay and then left him sitting alone in his room for three days without so much as a word of contact.  But, ever the proper Hobbit, Bilbo had decided it would be rude of him to not attend a party thrown entirely for his benefit, and followed the convoluted directions down into the depths of Erebor.  _Notions of propriety strike again_ , Bilbo reflected bitterly as he gave up looking for the door and sat down on the floor with his back against the wall.  He would have to just wait here for someone to find him. 

Where he found himself was in the deepest reaches of Erebor, just above the mines. Bilbo knew from the maps he had looked over when they first found the library that he was somewhere near the prison. He had never visited these levels himself and never had the desire to. But this is where the directions had led, so with some _obviously_ misplaced trust he had followed them. When he smelled food he had followed the scent to this room, figuring the company would be there when he rounded the corner, but there had been no one. Then, the door had fallen shut behind him. Now he was trapped and alone.

Food, however, there was an abundance of.  There was a table in the center of the small, dark room laden with all sorts of roasts and platters. The table was lit with two tall candles, setting the numerous shadows flickering. Bilbo wondered where all this food had come from in these times when food was still a precious thing in Erebor.

Bilbo, alone, near the prison blocks, and apparently trapped in a trap laid by an unknown trickster, began to feel truly unsettled.  

 There wasn't anyone in the prisons that he knew of.  Erebor's population was still to small yet for such happenings to be a normal occurrence, but all the same Bilbo feared what might be down here. He unsheathed Sting, feeling like a fool for fearing ghosts of his imagination after all he had been through.  He fingered the ring in his pocket to reassure himself.

A noise from the other end of the small room made him jump a foot in the air, his hand set to shaking on the hilt of his sword.

"Is someone there?" he squeaked, then remembered his lessons in personal defence with Thorin and Dwalin.  "I'm armed and I will hurt you!"  He couldn't use the ring now, he realized. The figure knew he was here even if it was blind and there was nowhere to escape- even for an invisible Hobbit.

The noise repeated, a sort of stone on stone grinding, and the shadow of a figure started to form from the darkness. Before he could second guess his actions Bilbo launched himself at it, swinging his sword wildly as he went.

The figure caught his first blow in the chest, but didn't even flinch.  Bilbo heard the crash of metal on metal and realized the mystery person must be wearing armor.  Before he could ponder how a ghost or an escaped convict could be wearing armor, the figure had caught the hilt of his sword in his hand and twisted it from his grip gently.  Bilbo flailed and with a grunt and in a scuffle the two fell to the floor as one.

"Mister Baggins," a familiar voice grunted against Bilbo's elbow as his collided with his assailant's face. "I see your lessons in fighting have done you some good after all, though not very much."

"Thorin!" Bilbo cried, slumping in relief against the floor. "You should've said something! You nearly scared the life out of me."

"I would've if you'd given me time to do so. May I inform you, it may not be the wisest course of action to attack a person before you know who it is.  After all, your greatest ally in one-on-one combat-" 

"-is knowledge of your opponent.  I know, Thorin."

The pair realized they were laying on top of one and other, and simultaneously remembered that they shouldn't be.

Bilbo pushed himself up in a hurry, retreating to the other side of the room into the light of the candles sitting on the table. "What are you doing here?"

 "I might ask you that question," Thorin grunted, following Bilbo off the floor and moving to stand across the table from him, hands behind his back, surveying the feast with obvious confusion.

"The company was throwing me a going-away feast," Bilbo stated stiffly feeling twice as trapped as he had before.  "This was where their directions lead."

Thorin glared at the door. "I wondered why Balin wanted me to inspect these rooms."

 The two fidgeted awkwardly, feeling like fools for falling for the company's obvious deception.  After several moments Thorin sat down at the table.  

"We may as well enjoy the feast the company has gifted us with.  Food is too scarce to come by in Erebor yet, and if they have _wastefully_ gathered so much someone might as well enjoy it while it's still edible."  He glared wordlessly at the walls as if the company was behind them and could hear his condemnation.

"Far be it from me to wrong your people," Bilbo muttered unhappily, but he sat across from Thorin anyways, helping himself to the roast and carrots. He had thought that same thing earlier, despite his sarcasm. It would've made his chest swell with happiness a week ago, to know he and Thorin were so close in mind to one and other, but now it sent his gut twisting. Here was the man so resolved not to court him on behalf of such a folly notion as propriety.

Bilbo resolved he would not let Thorin see his unhappiness. Thorin's the one who doesn't want to talk anyways. It's only proper to let him have his way and avoid conflict. That was how polite acquaintances behaved.

They ate in silence until neither could eat any more.  Then, they settled back in their seats, staring pointedly at the walls, the silence in the room getting thicker by the minute until both of them tried to speak at once. 

"I'm sorry for-"

"I hope that you-"

They stopped as one to let the other continue. When neither complied, Thorin told Bilbo to go on. Bilbo sighed.

"I'm sorry for attacking you before. I didn't hurt you did I?  I hit you in the chest with my sword."

Thorin snorted, "No, you did not hurt me, Halfling.  Your hit landed on the flat of your blade."

 "Ah," Bilbo said, blushing.  This couldn't be more embarrassing if he tried.

"I hope you are happy when-" Thorin paused, clearing his throat. He looked up at Bilbo from behind his lashes and tried again. "From what I've heard of your homeland it seems like a very lovely place."

"Oh, you would hate it. There hasn't been a battle there in over forty years," Bilbo bated, hoping Thorin would take up the attempt at conversation and ask him about it. But true to form Thorin merely sat silently, looking sadder by the second.  Bilbo's chest hollowed as he watched him, until he couldn't stand it any longer. He couldn't convince himself to act with propriety around Thorin no matter how he tried- from the moment when he heard the dwarves singing in the living room at Bag End to when Thorin growled the dwarven vows of courtship in his ear that night in the woods with the company not far away. Thorin was too much; too full of life and passion for Bilbo to behave with any sense of polite detachment in his presence.

"If you don't want me to go, you could just say," Bilbo nearly whispered, unable to believe he was willing to put his heart on the line by trying to talk about his feelings with a man who had already rejected him once. He was in far too deep, he realized then.

Thorin shut his eyes and shook his head slowly, hair falling forward in an inky black curtain.  "You would not forgive me." 

"Well I think that's quite for me to decide, isn't it," Bilbo said waspishly, tired of Thorin asserting his kingliness in their personal life. Being a king should have no bearing here, where they were trying to share something so obviously fragile.

Thorin's head raised as he realized what Bilbo had just insinuated before Bilbo himself did. _Oh well_ , he thought, deciding that if he was going to drip his toes in he might as well jump in, even if it meant drowning.

"I understand, Thorin," he sighed, standing and turning to face the wall behind him, unable to look at Thorin while he spoke. "I understand your need to put your people first.  I've always admired that in you and I've no right to be angry about it now. But even so," he paused to collect himself. "There is a part of me, a traitor part, that can't help but feel a bit betrayed that you don't think what we have is worth the trouble of defending my place by your side to others. You would let me go back to the Shire- without even a farewell, apparently- all for the sake of your propriety. It's grotesquely ironic. Propriety has ruined my life, you know. It's taken both my homes from me, now I'm not wanted in either of them."

There was the noise of a chair scraping against the ground, and Bilbo turned to see Thorin standing, leaning forward on the table.  "You think I'm doing this because I don't think you're worth the effort?" He ground out, glaring at Bilbo wildly.

Bilbo stared at him, waiting for him to explain why else he would be ending their courtship with what he considered admirable patience.

Thorin grappled with his frustration for a moment before he spoke. "What if there's dissent among my people because of us, or even something I do independent of you, and they take it out on you?  What if I can't protect you in my own kingdom, against my own people?"

Bilbo gaped at him.  Is that seriously what this is all about?  He had the urge to laugh but swallowed it, sensing Thorin wouldn't appreciate laughter at a time like this.

"May I remind you I am quite capable of protecting myself.  I save your skin numerous times, you know!  You and all thirteen of your company!" he cried, incredulously, sounding slightly hysterical. 

Thorin caught his humor despite his efforts and gave him a perplexed frown, "I know, Bilbo. And I thank you for that.  But that does not-"

"Besides, your people adore you," Bilbo cut him off. "Even an outsider like me can see that. And what you're afraid off… that's only if it ever comes to violence against your rule, which, I am assuming, you have no actual evidence for possible occurrences of besides your own wild beliefs." 

The two stood in silence, Bilbo daring to hope Thorin would see he was speaking the truth and they would recover from this. He was still unable to believe they had been so foolish. What had he said, and almost done, all for nothing? Thorin merely looked at him with an unfathomable expression until Bilbo sighed and spoke again.

"Thorin," he said firmly. "I will leave if you want me to leave," Thorin opened his mouth but Bilbo raised his hand calling for silence. Thorin complied. "I will stay if you want me to stay. But don't make the choice alone. I would gladly fight the current of a hundred Erebors if it meant staying by your side, you must know that."

"But you shouldn't have to," Thorin murmured softly.

 "I would do it, though.  For you."

"It's your choice," Bilbo continued quietly. It took several moments for Thorin to respond.

He rose from his position leaning on the table and went to stand before Bilbo, bowing his head to look his in the eyes.  

"Bilbo," he murmured.  Bilbo felt his breath ghost across his face as he shivered at the sweetness in the tone. "I'm sorry for making you doubt me, and for getting so worried about so little. When we sent you down from the doorstep into Erebor for the second time to meet the dragon, I swore to myself that I would never place you in harms way again. And then," he paused to swallow thickly, settling his gaze somewhere on the wall to the left of Bilbo's head. "I broke that promise myself."  Bilbo rubbed Thorin's arm habitually in comfort as he listened.

 Thorin continued. "I can't bear the thought of you injured. But after considering what my life would be without you for the last three days, I can see clearly enough now to know I could never want a life such as that. I've been stubborn and refused to hear the truths spoken to me by the people I trust most, and almost losing you is all I need to regret that fact.  I understand now you only said the things you said out of hurt. Hurt that I caused." He paused before looking back into Bilbo's eyes searchingly. "Would you do me the honor of renewing our courtship even though I am a great oaf of a dwarf who doesn't deserve you in the slightest?"

Bilbo laughed, feeling his eyes water dangerously,  "Of course, Thorin," he breathed, feeling as if he had sat down by a warm fire after walking a mile in a rainstorm. "Nothing would make me happier."

At that moment the entire company fell through the air vent in the ceiling.  

"Finally!" Dwalin exclaimed, rubbing his back as he hopped off the pile of Ri brothers that had broken his fall. Dori whined wordlessly in protest at the jostling, and help a disoriented Nori out from underneath him.

"That was as bad as the barrels," Bombur moaned as his cousin pulled him through the relatively small opening.  Bilbo wondered how he had moved through the vents at all.

"And equally as nauseating, there towards the end," Fili said, earning a round of agreement from the group.

"No one told you to listen in on our private conversations," Thorin growled as Fili thumped Thorin's back in congratulations.

"Aye, they did not.  But if we didn't who would keep you two from ruining each other's lives with your stubbornness and surprising lack of communication skills for a King and a quick-witted Hobbit?" Bofur stated.

Thorin, unable to think of a suitably scathing response, settled for rolling his eyes instead. The company crowded around them offering congratulations and he swatted them off irritably, without any real venom.

Bilbo was too happy to be angry about much of anything. He caught Thorin's hand in his own and smiled up at him fondly until Thorin caught his mood and smiled tentatively back.

"I'm sorry, Bilbo," he said  "I know that you can take care of yourself, and that I sometimes think myself the king of you, instead of the lover. I will try to listen to your opinions if you promise to remind me when I don't. And if it ever comes to such a time that we have reason to worry about your safety, I promise I will protect you at all costs. No one will ever lay so much as a finger on you again- they would have to kill me first." 

"Let's not get carried away," Bilbo cried, cringing at the image of Thorin in a medical tent, pale as the sheets and begging for forgiveness with ragged breath. "I do promise," Bilbo continued. "And I'm sorry too. I should've never let this get so out of hand, I know you would never act with the dishonor I accused you of. It was immature and petty of me to say such things." 

Thorin hummed and squeezed Bilbo's hand tighter. 

"Let's get out of these dark halls and back to where we belong."

The next morning Balin came by Thorin's quarters to apologize for causing the whole thing, an apology that Thorin waved off.  It was completely his own fault, he insisted, and though Bilbo unhappily complained that it was his as well Thorin would have none of it.  

Balin assured the pair that they are fully prepared to deal with any consequences of their courtship from the council, but he doubts their complaining will last for long.  There were other, more pressing issues that would steal away their idle concerns, what with the caravan of dwarves from Ered Luin set to arrive in less than a fortnight.  And if they became interested again afterwards, then Bilbo would have the extra defense of Lady Dis- who's known for her sharp tongue and even sharper wit- on his side. 

Balin had even taken a precautionary poll on the matter and determined that there was nothing but contentment among the people, even on the subject of the king's courtship.  They are as loyal to him as ever, and much too thankful to Thorin for his leadership and services to dwarven-kind both, to care about such small things as proper succession and preferential treatment of his company in the court. 

Balin concludes that the dwarves of Erebor would rather have a happy king than live without a Hobbit in the mountain.  As for the council, it may not be easy to take them off the subject of the King's personal life, but when has anything ever been easy for them?  And they've done alright so far despite it all.  

Bilbo thinks they've done quite a bit more than alright, and he says so.  And though it may not be proper for courting couples to kiss in front of guests, Bilbo has had enough of propriety for one lifetime, so he does it anyways.

Balin merely chuckles and excuses himself, going to inform the company that they've averted another disaster successfully and hoping that it will be at least a few weeks until their intervention is needed once again.  The kitchens only have so much food to trap angry Hobbits with after all.  

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Finally something came out of all my writing, unedited as it may be. Check out my blog if you like at http://earlgreyhaught.tumblr.com/


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